First Father's Day

Love, Ava

Being happy...fake it till you make it!

I wake up every morning to that smiling, giggling, little baby and it truly makes my heart skip a beat...most days. It's hard for me to be giggly when I couldn't sleep the night before and the clock is telling me that it's 4am. Another night of less than 3 hours of sleep and Ava's ready to roll around and play. It usually goes something like this, "Ava, go back to sleep". "GGGGoooooooooooo" and some whining..."Sleepy time, Ava", *raspberries for 10 minutes, followed by screeches*. It's at this time that I pull her into bed with me and try to make her go to sleep by closing MY eyes. At which point she begins to pull my hair and put her fingers up my nose. "Ok, I am UP!" and I slowly move myself out of bed cursing under my breath.

It hasn't' gone unnoticed that on those days when I am feeling a bit cranky, it unfortunately tends to rub off on Ava. Her smiles turn to whines when I am not exactly a beam of morning sunshine, it even sometimes escalates into a full out tantrum by the end of the morning. So for the past couple of months, I make a VERY conscious effort to fake my enthusiasm for the morning routine when I am really dying to go back to bed.

Therefore, I smile and coo back at her and then we get up and snuggle while she eats her breakfast. Afterwards I get my cup of coffee and watch her crawl around on the floor and we play for the rest of the morning. It's amazing how I never thought about the fact that most moms with little ones always seem to be cheerful.

Now that I am a mama, I may be forced to be cheerful for all of eternity. Or at least whenever I am within earshot of Ava. Will this change my life? I think that it might. It may actually make me a happier person, or at least make me WANT to be a happier person. And that's what it all comes down to in the end, right? Being a parent doesn't mean that you are automatically a happier person, but I do think it means that you WANT to be a happier person, at least for your kids.

If it is true, that you can fake it til you make it, than I am currently being "made". And maybe someday I'll wake up smiling and giggling in the morning, anxiously waiting for AVA to get up out of bed. I may even stick my fingers up her nose so that we can start our day together:)

Need more fiber??

So I left her alone for a minute, I swear! I come back into the living room and she has torn down the books on the coffee table and was munching away at the pages! She looked so darn adorable I just had to get a picture...then I noticed what book she was eating, and it was just TOO perfect! Love it!

Finally a new post!

So the past few months have been a whirlwind and I am just now beginning to pick myself up off the ground! Little Ava has been a lot more demanding on my time and energy than I ever could have imagined. I think that when I finally decided to be a SAHM (stay-at-home mom), I had this idealic picture of finally having a clean house, a happy baby, lots of "me" time without worrying about the demands of an outside workplace...when really all I did was manage to bring the outside workplace, inside my home. Now my job begins at 4am instead of 7am, I don't get any down time for lunch breaks, bathroom breaks, any sort of break and I haven't watched a daytime television show in MONTHS! My daily 25 minute commute used to be the time when I thought about my day and found some peaceful "me" time...well that's gone. When I used to leave work at 4, well now I am usually not even out of my pajamas at 4. What's that you say?? You'd love to stay in your PJs until 4pm?? Try it for 7 months straight and then tell me how awesome it is. I am just saying, I would love to "clock-out" at 4. Unfortunately I think CPS would probably catch on. So my workplace is now 24/7 and it is now everywhere I go, no clocking-in or out, no breaks, no sub to call in and take my place...so things like getting dressed are like a past-time luxury. I definitely feel like I've taken a backseat in the hygiene department. I go days without even brushing my hair, it's disgusting. Some days after my shower I have to rub lotion in my hair just to make it slick enough to get the gigantic knots out. That's what happens when you get out of the shower to hear your baby screaming in her crib...you kind of forget about the whole combing thing.
When the baby goes down for a nap (if the baby goes down for a nap), I've got a disaster of a house to clean. Dishes, laundry, baby bottles to clean, dog piss, diapers, baby food flung all over the floor, toys cluttering up every room, did I mention laundry?? I HATE laundry, so that's usually the very last thing that will get done in my house, if ever. Yes, I have even bought new clothes on a shopping trip in order to avoid doing more laundry. I hate laundry. It's the devil.
Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade all of it for the world. I am just saying, when Roger leaves the house to go to work, I secretly curse him for an hour or so. What I wouldn't give to be able to get dressed, drop the baby off with somebody (ANYBODY)else and take off to do something unbaby related.
But then I look at Ava, she's such a happy, healthy baby...and I only have myself to blame. We play all day, we sing songs, we dance, we go to the park, she plays with the puppies, we run errands together, we are definitely an inseparable pair. And she is quickly becoming the best buddy I've ever had. Yes, she drools, poops on me, expects me to do everything, but she is also the best cuddle buddy EVER, her smiles make my heart skip a beat and I've never seen anybody laugh so hard at my stupid jokes. She is my whole world and I have a feeling that I am hers.