A First - The Volcano Diaper!

So yesterday for some inexplicable reason, Ava's diapers were out of control!
I am feeding (trying to feed) Ava dinner. Roger has bought a new phone and is spending hour #3 searching online and/or playing with a phone at his spot on the couch. Ava is cranky, wiggly, and doesn't really seem to be hungry. In protest she has decided to start smearing peas all over herself, luckily she is only wearing a diaper.
For a moment or so, her face pauses, her eyes become round and dissonant, she is obviously pushing out a good one. I laugh a little and continue to try to give her a spoonful of peas.
Suddenly it happens...like lava oozing out of a volcano, a green and yellow pasty soup spills out over the top of her diaper into the high chair, all over her legs. Screams of horror, cries for help! Roger looks over, yelling, "Stop yelling!". Finally, he gets up and walks to the kitchen and screams, "IS THAT POOP!?!?"
As if stuck in a time warp, I move in slow motion as Ava's little hands curiously grab a fistful of diarrhea. Diarrhea poo dripping everywhere! "AHHHHHHHH!" the horror, I am still screaming and my mind has gone blank!
As if running only on adrenaline, I grab a hold of her arms holding them in the air over her head. Roger aimlessly runs around the house, back and forth, back and forth in a sheer panic. Can anyone help us?? Why is this happening!?! I can't stop screaming!
Now in control of her hands, my senses come to me. Roger is looking for our "dirty towel", the old towel that we use to clean up our nastiest of nasty messes, but we are both too stunned to communicate. I gather my words and yell, "clean, folded, quick!!"
Roger finds the dirty towel, unclicks her high chair tray, and wraps up the poo covered baby in a towel like a little burrito (sorry, burrito is the only thing that comes to mind). Ava, who was initially quieted by the commotion, is now laughing as mom and dad pull themselves together with unsettling shrill exclamations, "It's OK! It's ALRIGHT, EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY!!! YEYYYY!" He holds baby burrito at arms-length, I hold her hands over her head and we maneuver through the house, over baby gates, down hallways, through doors, the three of us in a locked position.
We make it to the shower, turn the shower on, is it the right temperature?? Okay, put the baby in. Wait, take off the diaper. NOOO, the smell!! Hurry! Poop, poop, never-ending poop! Detach the shower head and hose the baby down. Baby is hosed down, baby is clean, mom and dad are clean! Ahhhhh...sighs of relief and then finally laughter. We are beaming!We survived. We survived!!! WE ARE SUPER PARENTS!!!