This day started out with "disaster" written all over it. For some reason, Ava woke up excruciatingly early, nearly 4 in the morning! I changed her diaper, got her a glass of milk, sang her lullabies in the rocking chair, trying desperately to get her little mind to quiet. But to no avail. At 7am she was finally ready for her "nap". So I went back to bed, only to be woken up at 8am by her chattering away in her crib and my husband coming home from his night shift. I don't really know how much she managed to sleep in that one hour, but at least I got some sleep.
Roger made us pancakes. Ava refused to eat them. She prefered only milk and then raced around her playroom for awhile. It was supposed to be a bee-u-ti-ful day! January and temperatures were expected to be in the 50's! I was determined to do something outdoorsy today, so I texted my friend Sara and arranged a playdate at the zoo for the afternoon! Sounds like a great idea, right? Anyways, Roger went to bed for the day and I was left to get Ava ready for her first ballet class ever! I was super excited and kind of nervous. It's like the first day of school, but I knew I'd be dealing with moms instead of high schoolers, although I don't know which is more frightening?
We got to ballet class a half hour early (I was really afraid to be late) and Ava and I walked up and down the hallways to just waste some time. Finally, the ballet teacher, Miss Ashley, opened the door and we were allowed to go inside while she set up for class. I wrote out a check while Ava ran around the room playing with balls and checking out the mirrors. When everybody else arrived, it was a ton of fun. Although Ava didn't follow any of the directions from Miss Ashley, she loved just watching her dance and clap and sing. In fact, Ava was smiling and laughing at her the ENTIRE time:) I kept trying to get Ava's attention, like, "Hello! Ava! Look! Mommy's singing and dancing too, dance with Mommy!!!" Pssshhh...forget it, she was glued to Miss Ashley. I am actually a little jealous just thinking about it! But whatever.
After the class was over, I got Ava home and tried to put her down for a nap. Nope, that wasn't happening. She literally sat and babbled away in her crib for over a half an hour. I finally went in to get her and WOOOAHH! Her entire room smelled like nasty poo! I picked her up and went to change her diaper, which is a lot like wrestling a mini-alligator these days. It wasn't just poo, it was diarrhea poo. The runny, yellow, gooey kind that smells like death and flies everywhere every time she kicks her feet in the air, the kind that you imagine somehow got into your mouth because you can practically taste it, and it makes you gag just thinking about it. But I got her cleaned up and dressed and I thought about trying naptime again?? Buuut, now that we had a zoo playdate, it was ultimately too late to try naptime because Ava needed to eat lunch. So again, I put food in front of her, she refused to eat it. I was, however, able to get some watermelon in her and then we were off to enjoy the sunshine at the Zoo!
Ava screamed the entire time. I tried picking her up, letting her walk, putting her in her stroller, she was just not having it! I kept apologizing, saying that it's because she had had a long day and probably wasn't feeling well. I finally got her to calm down with some cheerios, at which point she slumped over in her stroller and slowly ate each cheerio in a weird sort of daze. I thought, whatever, at least she's quiet. Then as we were leaving the zoo, I decided to change her diaper in the back of our SUV before the ride home and whattya know! The diaper from Hell! I didn't even notice it because Ava had on two layers of clothing, but when I went to take off her pants, I saw the yellow goo all down her legs, then as unsnapped her onesie, I saw that the yellow goo extended all the way up her back. It had all been conveniently hidden by her sweater and it was EVERYWHERE. So now at this point Ava's crying again and I am thinking, wtf?! I try to pull her clothes off by pulling them down so that she doesn't get poop in her face or hair. I then see the full damage, it is all over her arms, her armpits, her tummy. That's when I lose it. I throw all of her clothes onto the ground. I pick her up by her wrist and spin her around as I grap wipe after wipe after wipe, trying to get her cleaned off, throwing all of the wipes on the ground. I take off her diaper, throw it on the ground. There is poop everywhere. All over our car, Ava, me, everywhere.
Then the most awesomest thing happens ever. The man that parked right next to us, strolls up with his kids. They just stop and stare. I am holding my naked screaming toddler by the wrist, wiping her down with anything that's not covered in poop, and there's a pile of poo covered clothes and wipes sitting at the tire of his van. AAAAND he's just staring at me like I am the worst mom ever...what an a**hole! I briefly looked over, not making eye contact, and said, "I am sorry", referring to the pile of sh*t at his feet...and I continued to wipe her arms and stomach down as she twisted and screamed. With Ava still reeling in one hand, I grabbed some old Christmas wrapping paper that was still in our car with the other hand, and I ripped off a bunch of huge pieces to cover the poopy covered car. I laid Ava down in the nest of wrapping paper and tried to calm her down as best I could. Her little face was all snotty and red and I thought I was gonna lose it if not for that little face looking back at me. I grabbed a clean diaper and some clean pajamas (thank GOD we had those!) from her diaper bag and I got her dressed. Got her in the car and was finally ready to be home to get her in the tub and then I realized, FUUUDGE, we were out of milk and bananas and I needed to get some asap.
So despite the trauma of the day, I stopped by the Wal-mart on the way home. Ava was so incredibly tired that she slept through the entire Wal-mart visit. I carried her in my left arm while picking up milk and bananas...and chocolate cake and lasagna...and maybe some fish sticks...and some Coke Zero? Sure, why not. Multiple old ladies made comments, "Aww, tired baby!" Another asked me if she had just gotten her shots today. And although I would've loved to sit and chat with all the old women at Wal-mart, I left it at "She's just tired", and I moved on. When my arm started getting numb I decided I should probably check-out. I made my way to the Express Lane, which was anything but Express. It seemed that everyone checking out in front of me knew the cashier and they all needed to chat. The feeling in my arm slowly withered away and I had to wake Ava up to put her in the cart. She wasn't exactly happy about that and she threw a huge tantrum, right there in the check-out line, until I picked her up again and held her. Ridiculous.
When we got home, I took her straight to the bathtub. She got cleaned up and then I tried to get her to eat some bananas and oatmeal, something that I thought might make her tummy feel better. Well...it turns out she just wanted bananas. She threw the oatmeal everywhere. Awesome. I tried to get her to sit with me on the couch and just calm down for the evening. But she threw one giant tantrum after another. So I decided, even though it was an hour before her bedtime, she was going to bed.
In her room, I read her some books and then we did our night time ritual. Turned on the white noise, turned on her ladybug stars, I gave her some water and then I sang her lullabies while rocking in the rocking chair. We do this every night, nothing different. Tonight she decided she wanted to sing with me. While lying on my shoulder, she spent 3 out of the 5 lullabies screeching and babbling. She kept repeating the sound, "tickle, tickle, tickle" until it became "coti coti coti" then something else, then she'd screech. It got to be too much and I just couldn't stop myself, I started laughing, the kind of laugh that you're trying to contain, so your whole body shakes. Then it was over for the both of us...she felt me laughing and she started laughing, and then kept laughing until I laughed again, and then we were both laughing, and I couldn't stop and she thought it was hilarious, and that's all we did for awhile, we just giggled and snuggled. And then she pummeled me over the head with her sippy cup, and head-butted me in the nose multiple times, out of sheer glee, so that I had to hold in my laughs for fear of further physical trauma. Finally able to contain myself, we gave eachother kisses and she fell asleep on my shoulder.
While I was rocking her to sleep, all I could think was ehhh...what a bad day! It wasn't that Ava was "bad" or that I was a "bad mom", it was just the day we were given. That's all. But I couldn't help but think, I would never want to relive today over again! And then I thought about it a little more and ya know what...if God ever gave me a choice, to relive my worst day with Ava or relive my best day without her, I wouldn't even hesitate in my answer. When I am with Ava, even my worst day is my greatest blessing.
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