BOY! OH BOY! I am on the verge of 16 weeks pregnant today, which means that I am through the hellish first trimester, yet still very far away from the dreaded third trimester body breakdown, which makes me officially HAPPILY PREGNANT! We announced it all to family on Christmas day. The Grandparents got a present that included some baby booties and a framed picture of Ava with a "Big Sister" shirt on;) It was a big shock to everyone, including me. Seriously. I didn't know I was pregnant until then, and then I wondered, is this is really happening? No, really? Another bundle of sweet baby!
Ok, so I am not gonna lie. This pregnancy was a complete surprise, a very happy surprise. Roger and I seriously thought it would take a little while, maybe even a couple of years before we had another baby. We weren't exactly in a rush, yet we weren't exactly taking any precautions either, if you know what I mean. ;)
This whole pregnancy has been the polar opposite of my first pregnancy. As soon as the stick on the EPT turned blue, I was nauseous, fatigued and losing weight. Keeping up with Ava was almost impossible. I could barely keep my eyes open and by the time it hit 3 in the afternoon, forget it. I was usually passed out in a corner while Ava rolled around on top of me like a jungle gym for two hours and then she'd be off to destroy everything in the house. I'd wake up feeling terribly guilty as I looked around to realize that my beautiful one year old had destroyed everything in the house, and yet thankfully managed to cause all of the destruction without hurting herself. I am talking about crayons on the wall, dog food scattered throughout the house, toilet paper wound around her head, books torn to pieces. But I was SO tired, I really didn't care, I would pick it up later, or maybe not.
Around 10 or 11 weeks, I started feeling better. Ava was still destroying everything in her path, but this time I had the energy to clean it all up, for the millionth time.
I've now gotten most of my energy back, I am excited to get out of the house, I drag Ava around with me to church, the mall, the museum, the grocery, the park, all while staying successfully awake...most of the time.
I've gotten to that stage where I am more stressed out about how this is all going to affect Ava come August. I can't even count how many nights I've just lied in bed thinking about how to have a baby without disrupting Ava's life in even the slightest way. I am even nixing the idea of a nursery and a big girl bed, because if Ava has to move rooms, or change beds, or lose her playroom, what if she feels like the baby is replacing her or taking away her space??
I desperately want to have this baby and still continue on with life as if nothing has changed. Is that too much to ask for?? I don't want to stress Ava, I don't want to stress myself. I just want a healthy baby brother for Ava and a sweet little baby boy for our family, without ya know, doing anything differently. Ughh...it's too stressful to even contemplate right now. I think I need to go shopping. Goodbye.
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